This old phrase has come to my mind lately. Looking back on the past few months, it is so true.
I guess when I planned my own wedding I must have been young and foolish, or had stars in my eyes, because back then I sure didn’t seem to notice or fret too much about all that was involved in the process. (Of course, my wedding guest list was about a third of what my daughter's is.) And this time around, I have become so aware (and worried way too much over) the many wedding etiquette rules that are so easily broken!
I believe some of this is due to a cultural shift. My wedding was in the 70’s. I did not have a large extended family, and we were not socialites, so not having much to compare with, I think I just planned a wedding that worked for me and my groom’s situation at the time. My DH and I were upper twenty-somethings who had careers and had been living independently for some time. My mother had no interest in helping to plan my wedding, so there were very few conflicts in that regard. (Ironically, the one thing that sticks out in my mind about my mom in the planning stages was the difficulty she had in chosing her attire for the wedding! What goes around, comes around?)
I remember consulting some Bridal magazines for my own wedding planning, but that was about it. This was before the Great American Wedding Industry truly hit its stride. There was no Internet like today, where anything you want to know about weddings is just a Google away. There were no online Forums where people are anxious to give their two cents on whether something is proper or not, no David Tutera on TV to set the impossibly high bar for The Perfect Dream Wedding!
Reading back over my recent epic posts about choosing the Mother of the Bride dress, I am almost embarrassed. I don’t really regret recording all that happened as part of my journey of being a MOB for the first time. Hopefully it was somewhat amusing and entertaining to the reader. But, I acknowledge how trivial it was in the grand scheme of things.
My analysis has led me to believe I obsessed over finding my dress because it was the one thing about my daughter's wedding that was for the most part, in my control. The other parts of this process I have had to relinquish control, admittedly sometimes begrudgingly, to the couple whose lives will be forever changed on May 21, 2011.
How many times do I have to keep reminding myself, it is THEIR day. Their wishes are what counts here. They are the ones who need to shine, and rightfully so! And who cares if we don’t follow proper etiquette to the T – once again, we need to plan a day that works for our families, a celebration where everyone truly enjoys themselves! We want happy memories, not a bride and her mom who are frazzled and fretful.
I am also reminded that there is One who is ultimately in control, and orchestrating every step we are taking. He is the one who brought this couple together, and He is the one this couple acknowledges as being the strong Cord who will keep them united. (Knowing that about them brings me much joy!) We have to keep our eyes focused on Him, and remind ourselves that the important thing is to let His love and blessings shine through in this joyous occasion of bringing two people together as one. If we do that, the day will be successful.
After all, what is a wedding but a representation of Christ as the Bridegroom, and His unconditional love for His Bride, the Church? It is so exciting to think of the wedding reception as a foreshadowing of a Great Banquet we will one day enjoy with our loved ones and with our Lord at His table.
So yes, I confess that all too often in the last few months, the Devil has been in the details, because I have allowed the wedding details to take my focus off of what (and who) is really important in this blessed occasion!
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. ... Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it… For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Ephesians 5: 23-25, 31-32 (KJV)
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
A Change of Scenery, A New Perspective, & The Decision Made! (Part III. - The Search For the Perfect MOB Dress)
A few weeks into January, I took a trip to El Paso, Texas to visit my Mom. At this point, I had only a few weeks to make my final decision on whether I would keep The Finalist dress (the sapphire blue chiffon with satin waistband) or return it to Dillards within the alloted time to get a full refund. My sister was in town too, and we visited several of the bridal stores and dress boutiques there. I didn't have my hopes too high, but I thought maybe I could at least find something new and different from the styles I had been seeing in the Dallas stores. One boutique there was really, really nice and I would recommend it to anyone – it is called “Ella Blu” on North Mesa on the West Side. http://www.ellabluboutique.com/
It was there that I had my most pleasant MOB dress shopping experience…and I think there are several reasons why. My sister being there with me definitely made it more special. The fact that we practically had the store to ourselves was awesome. (When I had visited the Terry Costa store in Dallas the previous Saturday, it was a zoo – I had to fight the newly engaged bride crowd as well as early prom-dress shoppers.)
The dressing room was the roomiest one I have been in yet..the size of a small living room, and it actually had a sofa in it. The salesclerk was perfect – she was attentive without being annoying. She was not snobby at all and made me feel perfectly at home and comfortable there. And the dresses were elegant yet contemporary, neither too frumpy nor too slutty. She kept bringing me dress after dress that I liked and that fit my figure much better than any of the others I had tried on. Who knew that one of the best shopping experiences of my life was not in Big D or NYC, but in dusty old El Paso, Texas!
And, in trying on those dresses, I found myself gravitating away from liking the flowy chiffon to the more formal, fitted satin/taffeta styles. I think the only reason I left Ella Blu without a dress that day is that I found some I liked, but not one I absolutely loved. Since the prices were WAY over my target budget (like twice as much or more), it would have to be a dress I absolutely loved for me to buy it. But it was so much fun, and not a wasted experience at all -- it was a turning point that gave me a new perspective on what looks good on me, and what would fit in well with the vibe of Amanda's wedding.
On the plane flying home, I told myself that my dress would likely be the sapphire blue chiffon from Dillards, unless something else dropped in my lap in the next few days. It was the closest thing to what I had been looking for so far, at a price I was comfortable with paying. But, something about it still just didn’t set well with me, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was at this point.
Well, with less than a week to go before the deadline of needing to return the Finalist and for Dillards to give me a full refund, I happened to be on the David’s Bridal website for some reason, and decided to glance through the MOB pages to see if anything was new. Well, sure enough...there was a new dress on there. Or at least, one that I had never noticed before. It was an elegant taffeta dress with rouching and a side gather which culminated in some simple beading, and a shawl collar that went into cap sleeves. The color shown was a dark platinum gray which I liked, but to my delight, the dress was also available in Ink blue! Even better!
That evening I went back to our local David’s bridal store – they said it WAS new, and they had plenty of samples to try on. The clerk was very attentive, as much as she could be in the David’s Bridal no-frills sort of way. There was the usual problem of needing alterations, but otherwise I really liked it a lot. It was age-appropriate but not matronly, very formal but not overly stuffy or blingy. The quality of the dress seemed to be decent. (I think with David’s, the quality depends on the price…you get what you pay for.) However, even though it was higher-end for David's, the price of this dress was actually a bit less than that of the other Finalist! And, I actually had another customer approach me to say she loved the dress on me -- I had never had that happen before in all of my other shopping experiences.
A few days later Amanda happened to be in town, and I took her with me to David's Bridal to try the dress on for her. I liked it even better this time. She had liked the sapphire blue chiffon dress on me too, but we both agreed that the tafetta’s formality and elegance fit the tone and style of the wedding better than the flowy chiffon would have. The chiffon was a beautiful party dress, and would have been a great choice for another, less formal occasion, but not for this wedding. Without further hesitation, I ordered the taffeta dress.
Right after leaving David’s, we took her wedding dress to the seamstress for the first alteration fitting. I got another glimpse of my beautiful Amanda in that exquisite, intricately beaded, perfect ballgown she would be wearing for her special day, looking like a fairy-tale princess, and knew that I had made the right choice. I would complement her style.
I feel a little guilty that I didn’t keep at least one of the Dillard’s dresses, but I felt a peace about My Dress from David’s Bridal that I did not feel about any of the other dresses that crossed my path in this long, complicated search! And, here it is (although I ordered it in ink blue):
Postscript:
This is kind of going off topic, but I have to share this bizarre story. That same weekend that I was in El Paso, there happened to be a wedding in Kansas of the daughter of an old friend of mine. When I got back home from my trip, I logged into Facebook. People were starting to post pictures of the wedding. I thought how beautiful my friend Pam looked in her dress! Then I took a closer look. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was wearing the silver/gray MOB dress with the bolero from David's Bridal that I had originally liked last Fall when I first started looking. (See Part I of my MOB Dress Search posts.) Then it came back to me what the David's Bridal clerk had told me…”there’s one in Wichita, Kansas.” I also recalled Pam posting on Facebook that her daughter had found her dress on clearance at a bridal store in Wichita for her; Pam didn’t really have to go shopping for her dress at all. (Lucky Duck!) This would have been about the same time I was looking for the dress last Fall.
I went so far as to contact Pam, asking her if she was willing to sell the dress to me, but she is a smaller size than what I would need, and she has plans to wear the dress again. I had to say goodbye to that dress once more. But you know what? The vision in my head had changed somewhat, and I was OK with it in the end. I was pretty sure it would not have been the right choice after all.
It was there that I had my most pleasant MOB dress shopping experience…and I think there are several reasons why. My sister being there with me definitely made it more special. The fact that we practically had the store to ourselves was awesome. (When I had visited the Terry Costa store in Dallas the previous Saturday, it was a zoo – I had to fight the newly engaged bride crowd as well as early prom-dress shoppers.)
The dressing room was the roomiest one I have been in yet..the size of a small living room, and it actually had a sofa in it. The salesclerk was perfect – she was attentive without being annoying. She was not snobby at all and made me feel perfectly at home and comfortable there. And the dresses were elegant yet contemporary, neither too frumpy nor too slutty. She kept bringing me dress after dress that I liked and that fit my figure much better than any of the others I had tried on. Who knew that one of the best shopping experiences of my life was not in Big D or NYC, but in dusty old El Paso, Texas!
And, in trying on those dresses, I found myself gravitating away from liking the flowy chiffon to the more formal, fitted satin/taffeta styles. I think the only reason I left Ella Blu without a dress that day is that I found some I liked, but not one I absolutely loved. Since the prices were WAY over my target budget (like twice as much or more), it would have to be a dress I absolutely loved for me to buy it. But it was so much fun, and not a wasted experience at all -- it was a turning point that gave me a new perspective on what looks good on me, and what would fit in well with the vibe of Amanda's wedding.
On the plane flying home, I told myself that my dress would likely be the sapphire blue chiffon from Dillards, unless something else dropped in my lap in the next few days. It was the closest thing to what I had been looking for so far, at a price I was comfortable with paying. But, something about it still just didn’t set well with me, and I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was at this point.
Well, with less than a week to go before the deadline of needing to return the Finalist and for Dillards to give me a full refund, I happened to be on the David’s Bridal website for some reason, and decided to glance through the MOB pages to see if anything was new. Well, sure enough...there was a new dress on there. Or at least, one that I had never noticed before. It was an elegant taffeta dress with rouching and a side gather which culminated in some simple beading, and a shawl collar that went into cap sleeves. The color shown was a dark platinum gray which I liked, but to my delight, the dress was also available in Ink blue! Even better!
That evening I went back to our local David’s bridal store – they said it WAS new, and they had plenty of samples to try on. The clerk was very attentive, as much as she could be in the David’s Bridal no-frills sort of way. There was the usual problem of needing alterations, but otherwise I really liked it a lot. It was age-appropriate but not matronly, very formal but not overly stuffy or blingy. The quality of the dress seemed to be decent. (I think with David’s, the quality depends on the price…you get what you pay for.) However, even though it was higher-end for David's, the price of this dress was actually a bit less than that of the other Finalist! And, I actually had another customer approach me to say she loved the dress on me -- I had never had that happen before in all of my other shopping experiences.
A few days later Amanda happened to be in town, and I took her with me to David's Bridal to try the dress on for her. I liked it even better this time. She had liked the sapphire blue chiffon dress on me too, but we both agreed that the tafetta’s formality and elegance fit the tone and style of the wedding better than the flowy chiffon would have. The chiffon was a beautiful party dress, and would have been a great choice for another, less formal occasion, but not for this wedding. Without further hesitation, I ordered the taffeta dress.
Right after leaving David’s, we took her wedding dress to the seamstress for the first alteration fitting. I got another glimpse of my beautiful Amanda in that exquisite, intricately beaded, perfect ballgown she would be wearing for her special day, looking like a fairy-tale princess, and knew that I had made the right choice. I would complement her style.
I feel a little guilty that I didn’t keep at least one of the Dillard’s dresses, but I felt a peace about My Dress from David’s Bridal that I did not feel about any of the other dresses that crossed my path in this long, complicated search! And, here it is (although I ordered it in ink blue):
Postscript:
This is kind of going off topic, but I have to share this bizarre story. That same weekend that I was in El Paso, there happened to be a wedding in Kansas of the daughter of an old friend of mine. When I got back home from my trip, I logged into Facebook. People were starting to post pictures of the wedding. I thought how beautiful my friend Pam looked in her dress! Then I took a closer look. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She was wearing the silver/gray MOB dress with the bolero from David's Bridal that I had originally liked last Fall when I first started looking. (See Part I of my MOB Dress Search posts.) Then it came back to me what the David's Bridal clerk had told me…”there’s one in Wichita, Kansas.” I also recalled Pam posting on Facebook that her daughter had found her dress on clearance at a bridal store in Wichita for her; Pam didn’t really have to go shopping for her dress at all. (Lucky Duck!) This would have been about the same time I was looking for the dress last Fall.
I went so far as to contact Pam, asking her if she was willing to sell the dress to me, but she is a smaller size than what I would need, and she has plans to wear the dress again. I had to say goodbye to that dress once more. But you know what? The vision in my head had changed somewhat, and I was OK with it in the end. I was pretty sure it would not have been the right choice after all.
Who Knew It Would Be So Hard? (Part II. - The Search for the Perfect MOB Dress)
As the season turned from summer to fall and the Holidays approached, I began running around to many stores and bridal shops in my area. I found a few dresses in the designer lines I had seen and liked on the Internet, but not the particular styles I was looking for. And I discovered that these designer lines were for the most part, out of my price range anyway.
I had heard goo
d things about the Alfred Angelo store in Frisco, and one of my good friends found her MOB dress at this store. Most of my friends recommended Alfred Angelo over David's, but honestly I can't see much difference in the two mega bridal chain stores. It turns out, all A.A. has is separates for MOB’s, but there was one set that actually was a contender. The color is shown in green in the photo , but I would have obviously ordered it in a medium to dark blue. It was flattering on me, but still would have required major alterations for the top to fit me right, and the more I thought about it, the fabric and total lack of bling just wasn’t very “special” for being a Mother of the Bride dress. And when I found out it was stretching the top of my budget, I was even less impressed.
I expanded my search into Dallas to the mega stores for formal dresses like Terry Costa and Whatchamacallit, and upscale department stores like Nordstroms, with still no success. Either the dresses were too much, or too little. (Speaking of bling and cost!) I tired very quickly of wasting my time, energy and gas on shopping.
I took a breather and went back to looking online. I discovered there were some online bridal apparel stores with lots of options, like TJ Formal, Ashley's Mother of the Bride, and House of Brides. Usually their prices are a bit better than what you’d find in the local bridal shops too. But again, I refuse to order something I have not tried on, especially since these formalwear websites usually have a No Return policy, or at best will charge you a hefty 20 to 25% "Restocking Fee" if you return the dress within their narrow 3 to 5 day deadline!
So, my next plan was to try to narrow the dresses down to a few styles, and then em
ail and call bridal stores in the area to see if they had them, go try them on, then I could order them online if they suited me, but I never could seem to locate samples locally for me to try on. When I could get the stores to answer my emails or return calls at all, nobody had it or anything I was interested in.
And I was running into another issue… I was quickly running out of time for a dress to arrive in time for alterations before the mid-May wedding.
I had heard goo
d things about the Alfred Angelo store in Frisco, and one of my good friends found her MOB dress at this store. Most of my friends recommended Alfred Angelo over David's, but honestly I can't see much difference in the two mega bridal chain stores. It turns out, all A.A. has is separates for MOB’s, but there was one set that actually was a contender. The color is shown in green in the photo , but I would have obviously ordered it in a medium to dark blue. It was flattering on me, but still would have required major alterations for the top to fit me right, and the more I thought about it, the fabric and total lack of bling just wasn’t very “special” for being a Mother of the Bride dress. And when I found out it was stretching the top of my budget, I was even less impressed.I expanded my search into Dallas to the mega stores for formal dresses like Terry Costa and Whatchamacallit, and upscale department stores like Nordstroms, with still no success. Either the dresses were too much, or too little. (Speaking of bling and cost!) I tired very quickly of wasting my time, energy and gas on shopping.
I took a breather and went back to looking online. I discovered there were some online bridal apparel stores with lots of options, like TJ Formal, Ashley's Mother of the Bride, and House of Brides. Usually their prices are a bit better than what you’d find in the local bridal shops too. But again, I refuse to order something I have not tried on, especially since these formalwear websites usually have a No Return policy, or at best will charge you a hefty 20 to 25% "Restocking Fee" if you return the dress within their narrow 3 to 5 day deadline!
So, my next plan was to try to narrow the dresses down to a few styles, and then em
ail and call bridal stores in the area to see if they had them, go try them on, then I could order them online if they suited me, but I never could seem to locate samples locally for me to try on. When I could get the stores to answer my emails or return calls at all, nobody had it or anything I was interested in.And I was running into another issue… I was quickly running out of time for a dress to arrive in time for alterations before the mid-May wedding.
Then another idea struck me -- some of the major department stores such as Nordstroms and Dillards have a far wider selection of affordable evening attire online than they do in the stores, they arrive soon after you order them, you try them on, and then return them within 30 days for a full refund if you don't want them. So, one day, I ordered $1000 worth of dresses online from Dillards. They arrived within 5 days, and I tried them on in the privacy of my own home. Amanda happened to be home and so I had a fashion show for her.
I have to admit there were some contenders in that bunch. One of them became a Finalist in my search and almost became The Dress. It was chiffon in a sapphire blue, with short flutter sleeves, and a wide satin waistband with a faux diamond brooch on it. 
The other dresses I began returning, one by one as I eliminated them, to my local Dillards store. Actually, not a bad way to shop…and I will definitely keep that in mind for the future!
Before making my final decision, I took the Finalist to a local tailor to see how much the alterations would be to make it fit me better, and got bad news. It would be almost another $100 dollars!
I was getting so frustrated at this point that I enlisted all the help and advice I could get. Several of my friends had offered to go MOB dress shopping with me but our schedules just didn’t work out, so I actually posted some dress photos on Facebook, and had people give me their opinions!
Before making my final decision, I took the Finalist to a local tailor to see how much the alterations would be to make it fit me better, and got bad news. It would be almost another $100 dollars!
I was getting so frustrated at this point that I enlisted all the help and advice I could get. Several of my friends had offered to go MOB dress shopping with me but our schedules just didn’t work out, so I actually posted some dress photos on Facebook, and had people give me their opinions!
(Continued on Next Post!)
How Hard Can it Be? (Part I. - The Search for the Perfect MOB Dress)
The next group of entries probably will seem pretty self-indulgent, and those who know me may be wondering why I obsessed so much about finding the dress that I would wear to my daughter's wedding. I still don't really know why. It is something I had looked forward to for a long time, and I think it IS important for the Bride's mom to look special on the big day. But there are so many considerations involved...formality of the wedding, coordinating with the colors, you don't want to outshine the bride, etc. etc. Basically, I just wanted to get it right.
Maybe it can best be summed up by something funny I read recently. It seems in the last decade or so, the MOB is taking more of a back seat in the wedding planning as the couples tend to want to be in control (and rightfully so), so really the main thing left for the MOB to do is find a killer dress!
After a long hunt I finally settled upon and ordered my dress. This was after 4 months of trying on 30 or so different dresses in local shops and even some stores out of town, and an online search that began soon after the engagement was announced almost 7 prior. As many people have commented, it is often easier selecting the brides' wedding gown than it is for her mother to select her dress, and that certainly was the case for us.
In one of the first bridal shops we went to looking for my daughter's wedding dress, back last summer, I remember the bridal store manager advising me not to wait too long to start looking for my dress, because it will be harder than I think to find it. But like most MOB's I suppose I was hoping to lose a few pounds before starting the hunt, and I thought to myself, "Yeah right. How hard can it be?" You choose a color, you choose a style, what’s so hard about it? After all, I live in a major metropolitan area, so there ought to be plenty of stores and dresses to choose from, right? It's not like I'm back in Kansas again, Toto. (Yes, I used to live in Kansas.)
Besides, I knew I could not really get serious about choosing the dress until after my daughter had chosen her wedding gown and the bridesmaid attire was settled on, because that would tell me the formality, color, and style I would need. I was excited to begin the shopping…but figured it could wait until these things were settled…besides there were other more pressing wedding planning tasks to take care of first.
I did start looking online fairly soon in the process, just to see what was out there on the market. This preliminary online search turned up many options that I thought would look good on me, and you could order them in a rainbow of colors. I just assumed I would be able to easily find these styles and try them on in stores or bridal shops locally. Piece of cake!
Within 2 months of becoming engaged, my D had chosen her princess ballgown, and even though we had not chosen the final design for the bridesmaids, we knew that they would be in floor length dresses, in a light blue color. We also knew this was going to be an early afternoon wedding.
So my challenge was to find an affordable, floor length dress that was special, elegant and fairly formal, but yet not over-the top with bling. I had decided on some shade of medium to dark blue, to complement the wedding color scheme of light blue and ivory. I did not want a low back, halter or strapless, preferring to have my shoulders covered somehow – either with a bolero or at least cap sleeves. And I thought chiffon would be best – lightweight, for this Central Texas wedding in May.
The problem with getting too specific in what you want is that you seldom find it… especially when there are other challenges too. I had a few things working against me:
First, I am not a tall beanpole - you know, the body type that can basically wear anything and look good; the body type that most designers make their clothes for! I am petite and curvy and short-waisted. Try finding a traditional Mother of the Bride dress in petite sizes. Almost impossible. And, I have packed on a few extra pounds in the last few years, especially in the midsection.
The second obstacle was that right now, short MOB dresses are in. There are LOTS of affordable short MOB dresses and suits available in the mainstream department stores. The long, formal gowns, however, are not so plentiful outside of the bridal shops. There are a few long dresses in the department stores and boutiques, but a lot of them have more of the prom/pageant dress feel and show a bit more skin than I would like. The ceremony will be in a Baptist church, after all! On the other hand, most of the long dresses in the Bridal Stores look quite frumpy. Or they have a lot of bling and beading on them. And the bridal stores seem to tack on an extra hundred dollars or two to their already outrageous markups just because it is long.
While researching wedding photographers, I happened upon a Mother of the Bride dress in one of the photo galleries that I thought would be absolutely perfect. A pewter (grayish/blue) chiffon with rouching at the waist, a crisscross bodice and a ¾ sleeve bolero. Just a touch of beading on the edges. The color was a bit lighter than I first imagined myself in, but it would still work with the wedding colors. It was understated and elegant, almost everything that I was looking for.
I must spent hours Googling the description of the dress, and finally found it. Of all places, it came from David's Bridal. Aha! I thought my search was over. I went to our local David's store as quick as I could to try it on.
They did have one shopworn sample (should have been my first clue) in the store in a champagne/ivory color (which was awful) and it was way too big for me. I went to the front desk to inquire whether any other stores in the area carried the style so I could try it on in my color and size. There are several David’s in the DFW metroplex, so I thought it was very do-able.
The clerk looked and looked on her computer. There were no stores in Texas or Oklahoma that had that style in stock. The closest store she found was in Wichita, Kansas. (Kansas?!! -- you've got to be kidding me.) She suggested I look online. Struck out there, too. Evidently the dress was being discontinued and all they had left were plus sizes.
Unfortunately, even though I resolved myself that I would not be getting that dress, it was now stuck in my mind, so then everything else I looked at, I began to compare to it. Little did I know that very dress would cross my path again in a most unusual way.
(Continued on Next Post!)
Maybe it can best be summed up by something funny I read recently. It seems in the last decade or so, the MOB is taking more of a back seat in the wedding planning as the couples tend to want to be in control (and rightfully so), so really the main thing left for the MOB to do is find a killer dress!
After a long hunt I finally settled upon and ordered my dress. This was after 4 months of trying on 30 or so different dresses in local shops and even some stores out of town, and an online search that began soon after the engagement was announced almost 7 prior. As many people have commented, it is often easier selecting the brides' wedding gown than it is for her mother to select her dress, and that certainly was the case for us.
In one of the first bridal shops we went to looking for my daughter's wedding dress, back last summer, I remember the bridal store manager advising me not to wait too long to start looking for my dress, because it will be harder than I think to find it. But like most MOB's I suppose I was hoping to lose a few pounds before starting the hunt, and I thought to myself, "Yeah right. How hard can it be?" You choose a color, you choose a style, what’s so hard about it? After all, I live in a major metropolitan area, so there ought to be plenty of stores and dresses to choose from, right? It's not like I'm back in Kansas again, Toto. (Yes, I used to live in Kansas.)
Besides, I knew I could not really get serious about choosing the dress until after my daughter had chosen her wedding gown and the bridesmaid attire was settled on, because that would tell me the formality, color, and style I would need. I was excited to begin the shopping…but figured it could wait until these things were settled…besides there were other more pressing wedding planning tasks to take care of first.
I did start looking online fairly soon in the process, just to see what was out there on the market. This preliminary online search turned up many options that I thought would look good on me, and you could order them in a rainbow of colors. I just assumed I would be able to easily find these styles and try them on in stores or bridal shops locally. Piece of cake!
Within 2 months of becoming engaged, my D had chosen her princess ballgown, and even though we had not chosen the final design for the bridesmaids, we knew that they would be in floor length dresses, in a light blue color. We also knew this was going to be an early afternoon wedding.
So my challenge was to find an affordable, floor length dress that was special, elegant and fairly formal, but yet not over-the top with bling. I had decided on some shade of medium to dark blue, to complement the wedding color scheme of light blue and ivory. I did not want a low back, halter or strapless, preferring to have my shoulders covered somehow – either with a bolero or at least cap sleeves. And I thought chiffon would be best – lightweight, for this Central Texas wedding in May.
The problem with getting too specific in what you want is that you seldom find it… especially when there are other challenges too. I had a few things working against me:
First, I am not a tall beanpole - you know, the body type that can basically wear anything and look good; the body type that most designers make their clothes for! I am petite and curvy and short-waisted. Try finding a traditional Mother of the Bride dress in petite sizes. Almost impossible. And, I have packed on a few extra pounds in the last few years, especially in the midsection.
The second obstacle was that right now, short MOB dresses are in. There are LOTS of affordable short MOB dresses and suits available in the mainstream department stores. The long, formal gowns, however, are not so plentiful outside of the bridal shops. There are a few long dresses in the department stores and boutiques, but a lot of them have more of the prom/pageant dress feel and show a bit more skin than I would like. The ceremony will be in a Baptist church, after all! On the other hand, most of the long dresses in the Bridal Stores look quite frumpy. Or they have a lot of bling and beading on them. And the bridal stores seem to tack on an extra hundred dollars or two to their already outrageous markups just because it is long.
While researching wedding photographers, I happened upon a Mother of the Bride dress in one of the photo galleries that I thought would be absolutely perfect. A pewter (grayish/blue) chiffon with rouching at the waist, a crisscross bodice and a ¾ sleeve bolero. Just a touch of beading on the edges. The color was a bit lighter than I first imagined myself in, but it would still work with the wedding colors. It was understated and elegant, almost everything that I was looking for.
I must spent hours Googling the description of the dress, and finally found it. Of all places, it came from David's Bridal. Aha! I thought my search was over. I went to our local David's store as quick as I could to try it on.
They did have one shopworn sample (should have been my first clue) in the store in a champagne/ivory color (which was awful) and it was way too big for me. I went to the front desk to inquire whether any other stores in the area carried the style so I could try it on in my color and size. There are several David’s in the DFW metroplex, so I thought it was very do-able.
The clerk looked and looked on her computer. There were no stores in Texas or Oklahoma that had that style in stock. The closest store she found was in Wichita, Kansas. (Kansas?!! -- you've got to be kidding me.) She suggested I look online. Struck out there, too. Evidently the dress was being discontinued and all they had left were plus sizes.
Unfortunately, even though I resolved myself that I would not be getting that dress, it was now stuck in my mind, so then everything else I looked at, I began to compare to it. Little did I know that very dress would cross my path again in a most unusual way.
(Continued on Next Post!)
Monday, January 10, 2011
The Maids, Music, and Saving the Date
Well, the wedding plans took backseat to the holidays and related travel for a while, but now we were back in the saddle again.
We had been able to tick off quite a few things on our wedding planning checklist over the preceding months, but it was still pretty overwhelming how much is left to do.
Over Thanksgiving break we noticed Amanda seemed awfully tired and run down...the Fall semester of her Senior year took its toll on her with a few tough classes, trying to negotiate through the post-college job offer process, and of course this little wedding thing hanging over her head. Thankfully, she was blessed with multiple job offers for after she graduates and was even able to play one employer against the other for more money!
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas she was able to design and get her Save the Date cards sent out, using one of the best shots from the Engagement photo shoot. (Yes, they finally were able to get those taken in October and they are awesome photos by Abigail Criner of Waco.) Here is a link to Abby's blog featuring a few of their photos:
http://abigailcrinerphotography.wordpress.com/2010/11/03/ian-and-amanda/amanda/
My daughter did a great job with the Save The Dates - they are postcards with "You are invited to our wedding; formal invitation to follow" on the back. She designed a custom logo incorporating the first initials of both their last names, and was able to bring in her wedding colors, light blue and ivory on the framing of the photo. She found a great company online (OvernightPrints.com) that not only prints the cards but mails them out for you for a decent price. Here's a link to their website: http://www.overnightprints.com/
I did a little preliminary research of DJ's online, and also during the Fall Amanda and Ian met and contracted with Johnny Bradshaw, who had been in the DJ business in Waco for many years. They described him as "rough around the edges" but a really nice, down to earth guy. I had a few concerns that he tends to dress down at weddings. Oh well...could be worse I guess. I put my faith in his many years in the business and reputation-- just about everyone of the vendors I checked with had at least heard of him if not worked with him. And his prices were not bad considering. Here's a link to his business, Central Texas Talent: http://www.centraltexastalent.com/index.htm
Oh yes.. a word of advice -- do some snooping online of the DJ's name (or any vendor you are thinking of hiring), and see what comes up besides what's on their official website. Googling one day, I found out that one of the other DJ's who was actually on our final list of choices turned out to be currently serving time for possession of kiddie porn. Why his DJ website was still up on the Internet, I don't know.
Anyway, Amanda really needing the long Christmas break from school to rest and recuperate. I tried to not bug her about the wedding too much, but she did finally have the time to go pick up her wedding gown which had been sitting at the Bridal store in Denton for over a month. Alterations weren't going to work out there, so we opted to bring the dress home and look for a more convenient alteration person, after she picks out her shoes and borrows a petticoat to wear under the dress. Luckily I found out there was a lady at work who does alterations that everybody raves about. Done deal!
We were re
ally getting down to the wire on ordering bridesmaids dresses. When we picked up the wedding gown, the bridal store manager in Denton fussed at us a bit that we were needing to make a decision SOON! We had a few more expeditions during the holidays, and Amanda finally decided on the dress for the girls. Despite my reservations about David's Bridal stores, that is where we found the dress. And we were pushing it...they were to arrive around the end of March/first of April...and there would likely need to be alterations before the wedding in mid-May. I think even my fussy younger daughter (the Maid of Honor) was OK with the final selection -- It was a simple but flattering style for all body types, and it actually had hidden pockets! It was mostly chiffon but the waistband is satin. Can't see it too well in the photo, but there were some fluttery petals on one of the straps.
Speaking of attire, I had been on the hunt for my dress, too, and if I ended up having to order one from one of the bridal designers, I was down to the wire myself. No pressure or anything.
We had been able to tick off quite a few things on our wedding planning checklist over the preceding months, but it was still pretty overwhelming how much is left to do.
Over Thanksgiving break we noticed Amanda seemed awfully tired and run down...the Fall semester of her Senior year took its toll on her with a few tough classes, trying to negotiate through the post-college job offer process, and of course this little wedding thing hanging over her head. Thankfully, she was blessed with multiple job offers for after she graduates and was even able to play one employer against the other for more money!
Between Thanksgiving and Christmas she was able to design and get her Save the Date cards sent out, using one of the best shots from the Engagement photo shoot. (Yes, they finally were able to get those taken in October and they are awesome photos by Abigail Criner of Waco.) Here is a link to Abby's blog featuring a few of their photos:
http://abigailcrinerphotography.wordpress.com/2010/11/03/ian-and-amanda/amanda/
My daughter did a great job with the Save The Dates - they are postcards with "You are invited to our wedding; formal invitation to follow" on the back. She designed a custom logo incorporating the first initials of both their last names, and was able to bring in her wedding colors, light blue and ivory on the framing of the photo. She found a great company online (OvernightPrints.com) that not only prints the cards but mails them out for you for a decent price. Here's a link to their website: http://www.overnightprints.com/
I did a little preliminary research of DJ's online, and also during the Fall Amanda and Ian met and contracted with Johnny Bradshaw, who had been in the DJ business in Waco for many years. They described him as "rough around the edges" but a really nice, down to earth guy. I had a few concerns that he tends to dress down at weddings. Oh well...could be worse I guess. I put my faith in his many years in the business and reputation-- just about everyone of the vendors I checked with had at least heard of him if not worked with him. And his prices were not bad considering. Here's a link to his business, Central Texas Talent: http://www.centraltexastalent.com/index.htm
Oh yes.. a word of advice -- do some snooping online of the DJ's name (or any vendor you are thinking of hiring), and see what comes up besides what's on their official website. Googling one day, I found out that one of the other DJ's who was actually on our final list of choices turned out to be currently serving time for possession of kiddie porn. Why his DJ website was still up on the Internet, I don't know.
Anyway, Amanda really needing the long Christmas break from school to rest and recuperate. I tried to not bug her about the wedding too much, but she did finally have the time to go pick up her wedding gown which had been sitting at the Bridal store in Denton for over a month. Alterations weren't going to work out there, so we opted to bring the dress home and look for a more convenient alteration person, after she picks out her shoes and borrows a petticoat to wear under the dress. Luckily I found out there was a lady at work who does alterations that everybody raves about. Done deal!
We were re
ally getting down to the wire on ordering bridesmaids dresses. When we picked up the wedding gown, the bridal store manager in Denton fussed at us a bit that we were needing to make a decision SOON! We had a few more expeditions during the holidays, and Amanda finally decided on the dress for the girls. Despite my reservations about David's Bridal stores, that is where we found the dress. And we were pushing it...they were to arrive around the end of March/first of April...and there would likely need to be alterations before the wedding in mid-May. I think even my fussy younger daughter (the Maid of Honor) was OK with the final selection -- It was a simple but flattering style for all body types, and it actually had hidden pockets! It was mostly chiffon but the waistband is satin. Can't see it too well in the photo, but there were some fluttery petals on one of the straps.Speaking of attire, I had been on the hunt for my dress, too, and if I ended up having to order one from one of the bridal designers, I was down to the wire myself. No pressure or anything.
Saturday, November 6, 2010
The Guest List: Lessons Learned the Hard Way!
The Guest List -- A hot topic. This is a big decision for all those involved in planning a wedding! I actually did not realize at first how pivotal it was to the entire modern wedding experience. I learned that nowadays, the guest lists of any pre-wedding parties or bridal showers depend on it. I learned a big lesson about priorities and family communication through what transpired during the weeks of finalizing it.
Again, I think going back to my own wedding planning, the guest list seemed to be a no-brainer. Wes and I had been on our own so long that we paid for the majority of the wedding ourselves; and our parents really had no interest in helping with planning it. So, he and I settled on a do-able number that would include family and friends at the time, and divided that up equally. I really had no reference point to our current situation: parents footing the bulk of the bill for the wedding of a 20-something couple who were just graduating from college and leaving the nest.
For my birthday last May, right after Amanda got engaged, she gave me an Emily Post Etiquette/Planner book for the Mother of the Bride or Groom. In it, (and in most every wedding magazine or website I looked at) I read that almost as soon as the engagement is announced, all the parties need to sit down and discuss the guest list. Did I heed this advice? Of course not...!! I figured it would all work itself out in the end...after all, the couple were looking at the wedding planning books and websites, too, right?!! So I assumed we were all on the same page of the standard ways of dividing the list up.
The etiquette advice had this to say-- usually, the division of guests goes like this:
Option 1 - 1/3 to the Bride's Family's Side, 1/3 to the Groom's Family's Side, and 1/3 friends of the couples' choice.
Option 2 - 50% to the couples' friends, and 25% each to each family. (This is more likely if the couple is older and they have lived on their own for a while, and the couple is paying for the wedding.)
But I soon learned that simple math is not the only factor in deciding on a wedding guest list...there are other angles to take into consideration, and even though it may be difficult to give up control when you are footing the bill, the wishes of the bride and groom must take precedence (after all, regardless of who is paying for the wedding, the day is to celebrate THEM.) Lets just say that we were not on the same page with the couple in the beginning. While we were leaning toward Option 1, they were leaning toward Option 2. To them, the important thing was to share the day with friends, and some closer family members.
Amanda finally told me they had gotten up to 200 guests total on their latest version of the guest list, and the great majority on the list were were their friends, In other words, just the immediate family were all that we were going to be able to invite. No extra room for more distant relatives, or good family friends.
Our venue people were telling us that it only held 180 people comfortably with a dance floor, 200 bodies would actually be pushing it - so we couldn't just add on to the number of guests. (Not to mention the cost -- we had already gone from 150 guests to 200!) And there just aren't that many places in Waco, Texas that hold more than 200, at least not at an affordable price.
It was a tense few days. We let a week or so go by so everyone could all calm down, and then I had to send Amanda a long email, apologizing for rocking the boat, but basically explaining where we were coming from. We had come up with a number based upon the wedding planning literature's suggestions of percentages. We explained that this is the biggest party her Dad and I will probably ever throw, and that in addition to the immediate family, there were also some other relatives and friends we would like to invite that had watched her grow up, and who we knew would want to be there if they could. We wanted the groom's parents to be able to do the same, if they wanted. On the other hand, we acknowledged that this is their wedding, and we wanted to abide by their wishes as much as possible.
So the "compromise" came in -- they cut down their list so that we could invite a few more people. It turned out the groom's family were fairly satisfied with the number they had already. Meanwhile, we visited the venue one day when they happened to be set up for a large wedding. It appeared that with a smaller dancefloor, and packing people closer than perhaps we would like, we theoretically could go with a few guests over the 200 limit. Considering you will usually not get 100% attendance of your invitees, it was do-able.
There was also the possibility of inviting a "second tier" of guests, depending on the RSVP's we got on the first round (although we figured out later this could get REALLY tricky so as not to offend anyone.) Amanda also suggested that any extra leftover spots could be offered to the "dates" of some of the single people they were inviting..and that was actually what we ended up doing.
So yes -- we learned that the guest list, and most importantly the division of it, is about THE most crucial aspect of wedding planning, and needs to be decided upon right away. We actually got it backwards -- we should have settled on the count before settling on a venue. Of course in our case, we had already booked about the largest venue we could get in that vicinity, so we were kind of stuck anyway.
Once the guest list and how it will be divided is decided on, it clears the air, the couple and both families have a clearer picture of what the wedding will look like, and you can move on with the rest of the planning. And if you choose to send out Save the Dates (as we did), a timely decision on the guest list becomes even more important.
Again, I think going back to my own wedding planning, the guest list seemed to be a no-brainer. Wes and I had been on our own so long that we paid for the majority of the wedding ourselves; and our parents really had no interest in helping with planning it. So, he and I settled on a do-able number that would include family and friends at the time, and divided that up equally. I really had no reference point to our current situation: parents footing the bulk of the bill for the wedding of a 20-something couple who were just graduating from college and leaving the nest.
For my birthday last May, right after Amanda got engaged, she gave me an Emily Post Etiquette/Planner book for the Mother of the Bride or Groom. In it, (and in most every wedding magazine or website I looked at) I read that almost as soon as the engagement is announced, all the parties need to sit down and discuss the guest list. Did I heed this advice? Of course not...!! I figured it would all work itself out in the end...after all, the couple were looking at the wedding planning books and websites, too, right?!! So I assumed we were all on the same page of the standard ways of dividing the list up.
The etiquette advice had this to say-- usually, the division of guests goes like this:
Option 1 - 1/3 to the Bride's Family's Side, 1/3 to the Groom's Family's Side, and 1/3 friends of the couples' choice.
Option 2 - 50% to the couples' friends, and 25% each to each family. (This is more likely if the couple is older and they have lived on their own for a while, and the couple is paying for the wedding.)
But I soon learned that simple math is not the only factor in deciding on a wedding guest list...there are other angles to take into consideration, and even though it may be difficult to give up control when you are footing the bill, the wishes of the bride and groom must take precedence (after all, regardless of who is paying for the wedding, the day is to celebrate THEM.) Lets just say that we were not on the same page with the couple in the beginning. While we were leaning toward Option 1, they were leaning toward Option 2. To them, the important thing was to share the day with friends, and some closer family members.
Amanda finally told me they had gotten up to 200 guests total on their latest version of the guest list, and the great majority on the list were were their friends, In other words, just the immediate family were all that we were going to be able to invite. No extra room for more distant relatives, or good family friends.
Our venue people were telling us that it only held 180 people comfortably with a dance floor, 200 bodies would actually be pushing it - so we couldn't just add on to the number of guests. (Not to mention the cost -- we had already gone from 150 guests to 200!) And there just aren't that many places in Waco, Texas that hold more than 200, at least not at an affordable price.
It was a tense few days. We let a week or so go by so everyone could all calm down, and then I had to send Amanda a long email, apologizing for rocking the boat, but basically explaining where we were coming from. We had come up with a number based upon the wedding planning literature's suggestions of percentages. We explained that this is the biggest party her Dad and I will probably ever throw, and that in addition to the immediate family, there were also some other relatives and friends we would like to invite that had watched her grow up, and who we knew would want to be there if they could. We wanted the groom's parents to be able to do the same, if they wanted. On the other hand, we acknowledged that this is their wedding, and we wanted to abide by their wishes as much as possible.
So the "compromise" came in -- they cut down their list so that we could invite a few more people. It turned out the groom's family were fairly satisfied with the number they had already. Meanwhile, we visited the venue one day when they happened to be set up for a large wedding. It appeared that with a smaller dancefloor, and packing people closer than perhaps we would like, we theoretically could go with a few guests over the 200 limit. Considering you will usually not get 100% attendance of your invitees, it was do-able.
There was also the possibility of inviting a "second tier" of guests, depending on the RSVP's we got on the first round (although we figured out later this could get REALLY tricky so as not to offend anyone.) Amanda also suggested that any extra leftover spots could be offered to the "dates" of some of the single people they were inviting..and that was actually what we ended up doing.
So yes -- we learned that the guest list, and most importantly the division of it, is about THE most crucial aspect of wedding planning, and needs to be decided upon right away. We actually got it backwards -- we should have settled on the count before settling on a venue. Of course in our case, we had already booked about the largest venue we could get in that vicinity, so we were kind of stuck anyway.
Once the guest list and how it will be divided is decided on, it clears the air, the couple and both families have a clearer picture of what the wedding will look like, and you can move on with the rest of the planning. And if you choose to send out Save the Dates (as we did), a timely decision on the guest list becomes even more important.
Monday, October 4, 2010
Vendor Selection Has Started (But Still Working on the Wedding Party!)
Things were now picking up pace a little:
1. We hired a wedding photographer. A nice older couple who did decent work but whose prices were reasonable. - Wendell and Mary Sanford.
2. I made the trek down to Waco for the first meeting with the wedding coordinator, Denise Harlan. She was energetic and capable, and very talkative. I was sure she'd do a good job for us. I just hoped we continued to get along, and I still wasn't totally clear on how much she would do for us before the wedding weekend. She was talking us about doing the flowers, too. I was temped because I felt she would "take ownership" of the floral and decor rather than just coordinate the wedding weekend for us. It sounded like there may be some financial perks for using her for flowers too.
3. At this point we were still looking at DJ's. Got a few referrals from the photographer and coordinator. Would much rather use someone that somebody recommends, rather than just doing blind web searches. (Although that's pretty much how we found the coordinator and the photographer!) Amanda's main concern with the DJ was that he/she doesn't cost too much. Personally, I think a good DJ makes a reception so much more enjoyable!
4. I was hinting that Amanda and Ian needed to set up their engagement photos. They had a photographer friend lined up for that, who unfortunately was not available for the wedding itself, but they just had not settled on a date to take the shots. Save the Date cards couldn't go out until the engagement shots were ready, so I hoped it would be soon.
5. She still had not named the final bridesmaids, nor had she settled on dresses. She and her sister were planning a little sister bonding time later that month to go shopping for them, though.
1. We hired a wedding photographer. A nice older couple who did decent work but whose prices were reasonable. - Wendell and Mary Sanford.
2. I made the trek down to Waco for the first meeting with the wedding coordinator, Denise Harlan. She was energetic and capable, and very talkative. I was sure she'd do a good job for us. I just hoped we continued to get along, and I still wasn't totally clear on how much she would do for us before the wedding weekend. She was talking us about doing the flowers, too. I was temped because I felt she would "take ownership" of the floral and decor rather than just coordinate the wedding weekend for us. It sounded like there may be some financial perks for using her for flowers too.
3. At this point we were still looking at DJ's. Got a few referrals from the photographer and coordinator. Would much rather use someone that somebody recommends, rather than just doing blind web searches. (Although that's pretty much how we found the coordinator and the photographer!) Amanda's main concern with the DJ was that he/she doesn't cost too much. Personally, I think a good DJ makes a reception so much more enjoyable!
4. I was hinting that Amanda and Ian needed to set up their engagement photos. They had a photographer friend lined up for that, who unfortunately was not available for the wedding itself, but they just had not settled on a date to take the shots. Save the Date cards couldn't go out until the engagement shots were ready, so I hoped it would be soon.
5. She still had not named the final bridesmaids, nor had she settled on dresses. She and her sister were planning a little sister bonding time later that month to go shopping for them, though.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
The Blahs...
So I think we kind of hit a wall for a bit. After the initial excitement, Amanda didn't seem to be too much into wedding planning during the Fall. (Of course she was just starting her senior year of college, moved to a new apartment, and still basking in the moment of being newly engaged, so there were some understandable distractions.)
I had done just about all I could from my perspective; spending many lunch hours at the Jack-in-the Box near my workplace crunching out the budget numbers for all the categories (which were still impossibly low in some cases.) I'm sure the restaurant staff wondered who this lady with the big white binder and calculator was, and what she was doing. When I had them about finalized, my husband Wes punched the numbers into an Excel spreadsheet for me.
I had done some preliminary online browsing of vendors; but I realized Amanda would rather scout them out herself. Except she just didn't have the time or energy to do that. She had told me a couple of months prior that she was already getting burned out on wedding planning and was taking a break from it, and in her sweet way suggested I do the same. (In other words, "Back off, Mom!")
I was a bit disappointed that the wedding planner we hired still had not contacted my daughter for a meet-up. So I think even Denise had the blahs. I really wanted to attend that first meeting, but it would mean a 5 hour round trip drive, so didn't know if it would happen or not.
I just had to resign myself to backing off...Amanda knew her budget guidelines; and she needed to do the designing and choosing. You know, the old trite saying is appropriate here. It was HER wedding, not MINE! But it was frustrating as the weeks rolled by, having to stay in stand-by mode... I was just scared it would come down to the wire and we would have to go into panic mode.
I guess the honeymoon glow of the wedding planning was over... I think it started fading when we hit a little bit of a snag a few months ago regarding the guest list.
I had done just about all I could from my perspective; spending many lunch hours at the Jack-in-the Box near my workplace crunching out the budget numbers for all the categories (which were still impossibly low in some cases.) I'm sure the restaurant staff wondered who this lady with the big white binder and calculator was, and what she was doing. When I had them about finalized, my husband Wes punched the numbers into an Excel spreadsheet for me.
I had done some preliminary online browsing of vendors; but I realized Amanda would rather scout them out herself. Except she just didn't have the time or energy to do that. She had told me a couple of months prior that she was already getting burned out on wedding planning and was taking a break from it, and in her sweet way suggested I do the same. (In other words, "Back off, Mom!")
I was a bit disappointed that the wedding planner we hired still had not contacted my daughter for a meet-up. So I think even Denise had the blahs. I really wanted to attend that first meeting, but it would mean a 5 hour round trip drive, so didn't know if it would happen or not.
I just had to resign myself to backing off...Amanda knew her budget guidelines; and she needed to do the designing and choosing. You know, the old trite saying is appropriate here. It was HER wedding, not MINE! But it was frustrating as the weeks rolled by, having to stay in stand-by mode... I was just scared it would come down to the wire and we would have to go into panic mode.
I guess the honeymoon glow of the wedding planning was over... I think it started fading when we hit a little bit of a snag a few months ago regarding the guest list.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
9 Months to Go..Some Big Decisions Made (...But Whats Up with the Wedding Party?)
Life brought some other priorities for me during these months...like a trip to my hometown to see my elderly mom, and getting both my daughters settled in at college; the youngest as a Freshman just starting out! Dorm shopping replaced wedding planning for quite a while.
I tried to bend my sweet sister's ear about the wedding when I went back to my hometown, but she had 2 boys and no daughters, so bless her heart, although she is one of my biggest supporters in life generally, her eyes totally glazed over whenever I would start and said, "I'm so glad I had boys!" At that point I made a mental note to myself to remember that not everyone is all that interested to hear about the wedding plans, and that's OK too. I did enjoy sharing ideas with those who WERE interested, like a good friend whose daughter got married a few months before my daughter did.
Here are some developments since the last entry:
I thought Amanda had picked out her bridesmaids dresses already, but she told me she hasn't gotten that totally nailed down yet. She had a few favorites bookmarked online, but had not seen any "in person" yet, and hadn't made any final selections. Actually, she hadn't gotten the bridesmaids totally nailed down yet. Krista, my younger daughter, will be her maid of honor and she asked 3 of her hometown girlfriends to be in the wedding, but as far as her college buddies -- still up in air. And, the 3 friends she DID ask were feuding...one had a boyfriend that the other 2 didn't approve of...OH the drama! Anyway...I was getting a bit nervous because we still didn't know for sure the size of the wedding party, and the bridesmaids dresses can take 6 months to order. Here we were, 9 months away from the wedding already. (Seems like yesterday I thought to myself, "Yes!...we have a whole year to plan.")
We officially booked the reception at The Hilton Hotel in Waco, and actually talked to the catering manager we would be working with, and saw the hotel dressed up for a wedding while in town visiting. It looked about as I expected. Can't say I was blown away. The Hilton standard chairs are a gold/tan vinyl, and for this wedding, the family had not opted for chair covers or rented chiavari chairs. To save costs, we planned to do the same, unfortunately. Their table decorations were OK, not outstanding, and they used the standard ivory linens the hotel has. I sure had dreams of punching up the decor a bit more, but my hubby and my daughter didn't want to spend that much money on it.
I guess the biggest update at this point is that we decided to bite the bullet and hire a Wedding Weekend Coordinator - Denise Harlan of Thee Designs. We would be spending about twice what I had hoped to on that, but I believed it would be worth it in peace of mind in the long run. Not living in Waco nor knowing any of the vendors, and not knowing anyone who does, it made sense to me to have a Waco resident wedding "expert" working with us. She was very personable, very capable, and she is a member of the church Amanda was getting married at, so she definitely had an "In" there! She and the Hilton Catering Manager seemed to have a mutual admiration society going on, too. At least I knew they work together well!
I tried to bend my sweet sister's ear about the wedding when I went back to my hometown, but she had 2 boys and no daughters, so bless her heart, although she is one of my biggest supporters in life generally, her eyes totally glazed over whenever I would start and said, "I'm so glad I had boys!" At that point I made a mental note to myself to remember that not everyone is all that interested to hear about the wedding plans, and that's OK too. I did enjoy sharing ideas with those who WERE interested, like a good friend whose daughter got married a few months before my daughter did.
Here are some developments since the last entry:
I thought Amanda had picked out her bridesmaids dresses already, but she told me she hasn't gotten that totally nailed down yet. She had a few favorites bookmarked online, but had not seen any "in person" yet, and hadn't made any final selections. Actually, she hadn't gotten the bridesmaids totally nailed down yet. Krista, my younger daughter, will be her maid of honor and she asked 3 of her hometown girlfriends to be in the wedding, but as far as her college buddies -- still up in air. And, the 3 friends she DID ask were feuding...one had a boyfriend that the other 2 didn't approve of...OH the drama! Anyway...I was getting a bit nervous because we still didn't know for sure the size of the wedding party, and the bridesmaids dresses can take 6 months to order. Here we were, 9 months away from the wedding already. (Seems like yesterday I thought to myself, "Yes!...we have a whole year to plan.")
We officially booked the reception at The Hilton Hotel in Waco, and actually talked to the catering manager we would be working with, and saw the hotel dressed up for a wedding while in town visiting. It looked about as I expected. Can't say I was blown away. The Hilton standard chairs are a gold/tan vinyl, and for this wedding, the family had not opted for chair covers or rented chiavari chairs. To save costs, we planned to do the same, unfortunately. Their table decorations were OK, not outstanding, and they used the standard ivory linens the hotel has. I sure had dreams of punching up the decor a bit more, but my hubby and my daughter didn't want to spend that much money on it.
I guess the biggest update at this point is that we decided to bite the bullet and hire a Wedding Weekend Coordinator - Denise Harlan of Thee Designs. We would be spending about twice what I had hoped to on that, but I believed it would be worth it in peace of mind in the long run. Not living in Waco nor knowing any of the vendors, and not knowing anyone who does, it made sense to me to have a Waco resident wedding "expert" working with us. She was very personable, very capable, and she is a member of the church Amanda was getting married at, so she definitely had an "In" there! She and the Hilton Catering Manager seemed to have a mutual admiration society going on, too. At least I knew they work together well!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
She Said Yes to the Dress Already!
As of this time, we did have the date set, for Saturday May 21st of 2011. Amanda and Ian got the church and pastor lined up. It was to be in the church they attended as college students in the Waco area.
The reception venue was still a bit up in the air. There just aren't that many places in Waco, Texas that hold upwards of 200 people. As of this time, we favored the Hilton Hotel. We considered having the reception at the church, but it is a Baptist church, and my daughter wants a dance with a DJ, so...you get the drift.
Amanda went ahead and purchased the dress from the bridal shop in Denton. We figured that way, it was closer for me to go with her for the fittings when the dress came in. It was to arrive months before the wedding, anyway, so there would be plenty of time to transport it to Waco before the wedding. And little sister Krista (who was asked to be the Maid of Honor) finally got to see the dress to put her seal of approval on it when we drove up to purchase it, so that made both sisters happy.
The dress Amanda chose is the Maggie Sottero Monalisa Royale; a perfect princess ballgown if I ever saw one. She wanted strapless, a little bling on top, full ballgown skirt with pick ups, and a hem and train with some beading detail - and the Monalisa Royale delivers all of that. She chose ivory, because she feels white would wash her out too much. I was a little iffy about the ivory simply because of the old "virgin white" wedding tradition and wondering what some of the relatives will think. But evidently that idea is passe now; lots of brides are choosing to wear ivory and it has nothing to do with their purity status! Besides, we took a look at some photos of the Monalisa Royale online in white, and it is almost too glaring a white for our taste. The ivory looks a lot softer and more romantic. We put a chapel train on for effect, and it looked OK, but when we put the full-length veil on her, it really looked stunning! The dress just has enough drama to it that it needs the longer train.
Amanda seemed totally thrilled, although I must say, the bridal store people put a more form-fitting Maggie Sottero on her when they were trying to size her, and it looked awesome, too. I think her sister may have actually preferred that one, and I could tell even my bride was going, "Hmmmm.." But she's had her heart set on a ballgown forever, (both her prom dresses were ballgowns) so I knew there was no going back. I loved it, too!
The reception venue was still a bit up in the air. There just aren't that many places in Waco, Texas that hold upwards of 200 people. As of this time, we favored the Hilton Hotel. We considered having the reception at the church, but it is a Baptist church, and my daughter wants a dance with a DJ, so...you get the drift.
Amanda went ahead and purchased the dress from the bridal shop in Denton. We figured that way, it was closer for me to go with her for the fittings when the dress came in. It was to arrive months before the wedding, anyway, so there would be plenty of time to transport it to Waco before the wedding. And little sister Krista (who was asked to be the Maid of Honor) finally got to see the dress to put her seal of approval on it when we drove up to purchase it, so that made both sisters happy.
The dress Amanda chose is the Maggie Sottero Monalisa Royale; a perfect princess ballgown if I ever saw one. She wanted strapless, a little bling on top, full ballgown skirt with pick ups, and a hem and train with some beading detail - and the Monalisa Royale delivers all of that. She chose ivory, because she feels white would wash her out too much. I was a little iffy about the ivory simply because of the old "virgin white" wedding tradition and wondering what some of the relatives will think. But evidently that idea is passe now; lots of brides are choosing to wear ivory and it has nothing to do with their purity status! Besides, we took a look at some photos of the Monalisa Royale online in white, and it is almost too glaring a white for our taste. The ivory looks a lot softer and more romantic. We put a chapel train on for effect, and it looked OK, but when we put the full-length veil on her, it really looked stunning! The dress just has enough drama to it that it needs the longer train.
Amanda seemed totally thrilled, although I must say, the bridal store people put a more form-fitting Maggie Sottero on her when they were trying to size her, and it looked awesome, too. I think her sister may have actually preferred that one, and I could tell even my bride was going, "Hmmmm.." But she's had her heart set on a ballgown forever, (both her prom dresses were ballgowns) so I knew there was no going back. I loved it, too!
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